I was prompted to write this blog about people-pleasing by this verse in Galatians:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10).

Paul’s questions seemed incredibly timely.

Some of you, like me, have compromised in recent years, censoring ourselves for fear of rejection, and now desire to return to speaking bold, loving words of truth to a culture drowning in lies.

Others experience people-pleasing on a more personal level, limiting their growth and flourishing because of unhealthy people-pleasing relationships. Either way, it seems worth digging deeper for biblical understanding.

I searched my Bible app for the word please, and there was a surprisingly high number of hits in the New Testament alone.

Even Jesus, with whom the Father declared himself “well pleased,” discussed his commitment to live in the overriding, conscious purpose of pleasing God. He tells his disciples,

By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me (John 5:30).

And,

The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” (John 8:29)

If Jesus Christ, the one we are called to follow and imitate, puts a premium on pleasing the Father, we ought to pay attention.

I have had to examine myself and ask, in actuality, the questions that Paul ask rhetorically. Am I more concerned with pleasing people or pleasing God?

Though I have been in Christ for many years and try hard to do worthwhile things that promote his kingdom, I also have a long history of people-pleasing that runs alongside my more worthy pursuits.

How many opportunities have I missed to share the gospel with someone because I feared they might not like it? They might be offended. It might threaten our relationship.

How often have I held back in expressing a political principle that is rooted in biblical wisdom, natural law, or common sense? I might be canceled or called names.

You know what? People got offended by Jesus all the time. People were violently offended by Paul, and by many other biblical and contemporary martyrs (e.g., John the Baptist, Stephen, Bonhoeffer, Charlie Kirk). All paid the ultimate price for choosing to please God more than men.

That’s the crux of the issue.

It is not wrong to serve and please people. In fact, serving people is the primary way that we serve God. It is called ministry, and every believer has one.

But it is essential that we can discern when a need to be accepted and loved by people interferes with God’s purposes for our growth or theirs.

Paul illustrates this dilemma in his treatise to the Corinthians on marriage. He points out that marriage is a good gift from God, but that married people are limited in their freedom and ability to serve God because they are required to allot a portion of their energies to pleasing their spouses. (1 Cor. 7:323-34).

Despite potential limitations to other forms of ministry, pleasing a husband or wife is an indirect way of pleasing God, who created marriage.

Paul’s letters further illustrate occasions when pleasing people is in line with pleasing God.

Paul exhorts strong believers to “bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves” and “to please our neighbors for their good, to build them up” (Romans 15:1-3).

In these cases, we care for others with the underlying purpose of encouraging them to please God. The weak in faith among us can be strengthened, and our neighbors can be built up, and this pleases him.

The other side of the same coin is a warning not to “cause anyone to stumble”…but to “please everyone in every way…not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved” (1 Cor. 10:32-33). In this case, our ultimate goal, and God’s, is that we would be good ambassadors for him and lead others to salvation.

Paul exemplifies the ability to present the gospel in various cultural environments, boldly and unapologetically. He presented solid arguments that might connect with their pre-existing world view.

Sometimes he was beaten or driven out of town. Other times, he was loved and received well. Either way, he carried God-given authority and could be trusted to put God first.

…we speak as those approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. (1 Thess.2:4).

Don’t we want to be trusted by God? If the answer is yes, how can we grow in this?

First, we endeavor to walk in the Spirit, because “those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God” (Rom. 8:8). This is where it begins: hearing and obeying the voice of the Holy Spirit in all of our dealings with people. It is possible to live by the revelation of God every day. We have plenty of biblical examples, notably in the Gospels and the book of Acts.

Second, we pray that God would give us such a passion for him that doing his will is our highest priority. We boldly say, to God and to the world, that we have made it “our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it” (2 Cor. 5:9).

In other words, even if we die in the process, we seek to please him first in all things. This will be the basis for judgment or reward when we give account for our lives before the Lord. (v.10; Romans 14:12)

Third, we engage with the Scriptures daily to “find out what pleases the Lord” (Eph. 5:10). Connected to this is the command to “have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them” (v. 11).

If we actively pursue the things we know are pleasing to God, we also expose the opposite. Sometimes we watch evil die when it is brought into the light.

I feel an urgency now in my faith, and I know many people are feeling this same urgency.

More than forty years ago, I signed on to follow Jesus for the rest of my life, and I’ve never regretted that commitment. But I have had periods of weakness, fear, and compromise along the way. I’m praying God would strengthen me again.

Paul addresses this brilliantly in metaphor when he writes to Timothy,

“No one serving as a soldier gets entangled in civilian affairs, but rather tries to please his commanding officer.” (2 Tim. 2:4).

While there is sacrifice involved in living a God-pleasing life, there is also great reward. I will end with this encouraging message from the Apostle John.

Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. (1 John 3:21-23).

Pray this with me if you agree:

Gracious Lord, I pray that you would reveal any people-pleasing tendencies in me that are rooted in fear of failure or fear of rejection, or that cause me to walk in ways that are not pleasing to you. I love you and recommit to walking in your ways, whatever the cost.

Amen