As the month of May comes to a close, I complete this trip through the Proverbs. I hope you enjoy this analysis of the characteristics of wise and godly speech, contrasted with the kind of speech uttered by fools.
The biblical Book of Proverbs contains many contrasting couplets. I shared some of those contrasts last week, related to seeking wisdom and truth amid foolish and relativistic cultural trends. What was true in Solomon’s day is still true today, in some cases, more so!
This week, I note aspects of how we relate and communicate. Proverbs contrasts the words and attitudes of the godly with those of the wicked or foolish.
The words we say, and often more importantly, the words we choose not to say, reveal is in our hearts. Jesus declared this. After arguing with Pharisees about the relative importance of washing hands before eating, he explains to his disciples:
What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them… “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person (Matt. 15:11, 17-20).
Jesus, as usual, sums up the issue perfectly, exactly confirming the wisdom of the Proverbs writers.
Let’s start with warnings about negative, destructive, or foolish types of communication to avoid.
Gossip
According to the writers of Proverbs, gossip does much damage to relationships.
· It betrays the confidence of a friend (11:13)
· It separates close friends (16:28)
· It goes down to the “inmost parts” to defile (18:8)
· It results from talking too much (20:19)
· It fuels quarreling like wood fuels a fire (26:20)
Gossip can be very sneaky. I may be talking innocently with a friend when another person not present becomes the subject of the conversation. My friend and I may mean no harm, at first talking about the other person in largely positive ways. But if we continue for a while, we may come dangerously close to inappropriate judgments, criticism, or disclosure of confidential information about the person.
It is best to be cautious when we realize we are talking about people who are not with us. It is often a temptation to satisfy our flesh. It makes us feel powerful or superior, almost godlike.
I’ve asked the Lord to make me very sensitive to the sin of gossip, because it is not a small thing. When he reveals it, I am convicted in my spirit and prompted to redirect the conversation away from gossip to a more edifying topic. Then I ask forgiveness from God, from my conversation partner, and occasionally from the person I’ve been gossiping about. It’s not OK to participate in talk that defiles.
Anger
Anger is a God-given, necessary emotional response to threats against us or those we love. Sometimes, it presents— in Proverbs and in life— as nagging, complaining, and resentment. This type of angry communication can become explosive and destructive. We require maturity and self-control to manage and regulate it well.
Here are some words of wisdom from Proverbs about anger:
· Anger sows strife and is rooted in pride (13:10)
· Harsh words stir up anger in ourselves and others (15:1)
· Anger and quarreling strain a marriage (19:3; 21:9)
· It is wise to avoid friendships with hot-tempered people (22:24)
We can grow continually in how we handle anger and conflict. We can learn to steer away from the type of angry behaviors and words that destroy relationships and bring harm.
Lying
We don’t need to be told that lying is bad. It’s prohibited in the Ten Commandments. Lying is a crime if we do it under oath in court, and we’ve all experienced how it can undermine trust in relationships. The Proverbs agree.
· The Lord despises a lying tongue (12:22;16:17)
· Liars conceal hatred with lying lips and spread slander (10:18)
· Liars are fools (10:18)
· Liars only find fleeting success in life (21:6)
· Liars hate those they hurt, and work ruin in the lives of others (26:28)
· Lying is especially harmful when done by rulers (17:7)
Lying can become a habit. When practiced frequently to get out of trouble, it can turn into a web of dishonesty and misunderstandings from which we may be unable to break free. Think of toddlers, teenagers, or politicians.
Foolishness
Foolishness is one of the most often cited human problems in the book of Proverbs. This makes sense because it is a book that promotes wisdom. Sometimes we recognize wisdom when we see it in contrast with foolishness.
· The mouth of a fool invites ruin (10:14)
· Fools spread hatred and slander (10:18)
· Fools die for lack of sense
· A fool’s heart blurts out folly (12:23
· A fool’s heart lashes out with pride (14:3)
· A fool speaks no knowledge, but only folly (14:7;15:2)
· The mouths of fools invite a beating (18:6)
Surely we never want to be fools.
Once we see the potential consequences of gossip, anger, lying, and foolishness, it is simple to recognize the benefits of taking the opposite path in our communication and treatment of others. They become aspects of our godly character.
· The lips of the righteous nourish many (10:21)
· The prudent know when to keep their thoughts to themselves (12:23; 17:28)
· The lips of the wise protect them (14:3)
· The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge (15:2)
Those who use wise words are frequently commended as givers of advice and counsel:
· The wise listen to the advice of the wise (12:15; 13:10)
· Those who listen to advice and accept discipline are counted among the wise (19:20)
· It is pleasant to hear heartfelt advice from a friend (27:9)
· The tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18)
· Gracious words of the wise promote instruction (16:21)
I am grateful for the Holy Spirit’s wisdom as expressed in the book of Proverbs. It clarifies the boundaries of wholesome, honest, gentle, and beneficial words, and shows us how we can prove ourselves wise, even when surrounded by foolishness.
